Nov. 24, 2020

8 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday Season

#012 - The last 6-weeks of the year can be stressful most years. The 2020 holiday season is certainly far from an exception, and in some cases may be the most stressful season of all.

So in this episode, we share our 8 top tips to keep the stress levels down and enjoy this time of year.

Topics range from taking non-holiday days off, to DIY with your kids, our favorite list app, and more.

For show notes, transcription, and more:

https://www.workinghomeparents.com/12

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Transcript
Daniel Norton:

So there's six weeks left in 2020.

Amanda Norton:

Finally, anybody else out there with me?

Daniel Norton:

Now, we want to be able to have a lot of fun in these last six weeks from, you know, thanksgiving here in the us all the way through Christmas, and Hanukkah, and New Year's and everything else that goes on within these last six weeks. But most years, it can be pretty stressful. But now in 2020, yeah, the stress levels for everyone in different scenarios and different situations is probably going to be through the roof. Absolutely. So in this episode, we're going to share our eight top tips that we've used to help keep our holiday season stress free, and that we're going to be really working on this year. So let's get into it. Cue the intro.

Bumper:

Welcome to working home parents helping you find stability between client calls, and potty training. Because we're all figuring this out as we go. And now your hosts, Amanda and Dan Norton.

Daniel Norton:

Well, here in the US, it's Thanksgiving week. So if anyone else who's in the US here celebrating around the world, Happy Thanksgiving,

Amanda Norton:

yes, very exciting. I'm thinking about all the food we're gonna have. And just the family time, even though it's gonna be smaller this year, you know, but something more intimate for this year, which is nice,

Daniel Norton:

short, yeah, we're gonna get into that, in this episode, some of those things that may add to a more stressful year than normal for your holiday seasons. But, you know, it's still within that, you know, it's one of those times where we think about what we're thankful for. And with the theme of this podcast and what we do, I know for me, I'm thankful that we are working home parents, that we get to be home, and enjoy time and this year, I think a lot of a lot of parents are home, and whether you feel like it's you're getting to be home or you feel like you are stuck at home, I think there's things to be thankful for within that.

Amanda Norton:

Definitely, you're in a safe environment, Lord willing you are and you are with your family with your loved ones. And it gave you so much more time this 2020 craziness that we were experiencing, and the quarantine and everything just gave us more time to be with the family. And all those like extracurricular activities were canceled. So you had no place to go after five o'clock, which is sometimes such a gift. And sometimes your kids just need that like, you know, free time off of after school and after dinner just to hang and just to do what they want to do. And as a parent, it's like a little bit stress relieving. So yeah, I feel like even though 2020 brought us a lot of heartache and and tough times. It also I felt in some of the people I speak with on a regular basis, it brought families together, which is nice and it having those less distractions after work. And after school, all these little activities and stuff like that. It's it's nice that families could just be home together and and kind of take like a break from life, I guess? I don't know.

Daniel Norton:

Yeah, well, And hey, if you're in the US, you probably got some break from the virtual school going into this week for at least two days or so. So there's that it's a time to be thankful and be thinking about this, but look, six weeks left in the year. And it's either about to get really stressful or just really about to be like, let's just get through this and get over with or be able to enjoy it right. And I think we really want to be able to enjoy it. And enjoy this time with our kids being able to enjoy having dinners with our kids and and being able to open presents or whatever it is, whatever your traditions or whatever your family, whatever holidays your family celebrates, even if it's just New Year's, and you get to enjoy and have fun for that time. I think it's an important time for us to start thinking through how can we enjoy this year?

Amanda Norton:

Definitely. So let's go with number one, which is listen to your family members. Even if you had bought them a gift, listen to something that they're asking about maybe for next year, something that they need something that they want. Many times we make up our own list for our family members thinking we know what they want or know what they need. And you get their Christmas gifts and then you think about it after you just heard them say something. And you're like, oh, man, Okay, I gotta remember that for the next time. So, you know, listen carefully to what your family members need. Because whatever they're asking for this year, you can put it on the neck the list for next year.

Daniel Norton:

No for birthdays to or graduations, different things. This is the time of year where we tend to talk more about gifts or things that we want because people are asking what do you Want right now. And it's not necessarily something that you know, as adults that we talk about all throughout the year, maybe some of us do. But most people at this time are talking or thinking about the things that they actually want. Because you get that question like, what do you actually want this year? Yeah, that is good for you, or what is your kids want it like, and taking notes of that, this is a great time, because now maybe if they didn't get what they wanted, this is an opportunity for you to just get that early, while there's the end of the year sales or something, and get it for next year or for their birthday, or whatever other events are coming up throughout this year. Because now you've gotten a note, you don't have to think you don't have to go and ask them that awkward question. Because you've already got an idea. Obviously, you need to make sure they didn't get it right in between them. But I do think that's, that's a great way. And that's something that we've we've used, yeah,

Amanda Norton:

I love surprising my family members with gifts that they're like, Wait, how did you know I need that? And I'm like, because I was listening carefully. I was finally like, taking notes. And for me, I need to take notes for for everything. So as soon as I hear something i right away, put it in my phone, you know, and they get so surprised. And it's so fun to see their reaction.

Daniel Norton:

Yeah, it's like planning your Christmas gifts for next year this year. Yeah.

Amanda Norton:

Number two is, it's okay to say no. So this year, the question is, which is sometimes awkward with family members? It The question is, are you going to be coming to family gatherings? So but we're saying in you obviously need to make the decision yourself? It's okay to say no, and set those expectations from the beginning.

Daniel Norton:

Yeah. You know, I think everyone's situation is different. You know, we're not here to tell you what decision you should make, right? You know, we should we're not here to, you know, say that our government should be making a decision, or you should be making a decision. Like, you have to take into account your decision, who you're seeing who you're around your own health, and all of that in between this year. But it is okay to say no, it's hard. It's hard, especially when there's family traditions, and there's other things going on. But if you're worried and you're concerned, or you're with someone that you're worried or concerned about, then it is okay to say no. Because I think that I think that's a big struggle, struggle and a big stress point for a lot of people this year, even if you internalize it, it's still a very big struggle, because it's like, should I say yes or no? Especially if you're kind of the odd one out, you know, like, whether you feel like we should you should be gathering and everyone else is saying no, yeah. Or you feel like you shouldn't be and everyone else is saying yes. It's hard to, you know, be that person on either side of those things. Definitely. So knowing that it is say okay to say no, or figuring it out an alternative plan.

Amanda Norton:

That's a good idea,

Daniel Norton:

right? If you want to do something and want to have a new tradition, or something else, and everyone else is like, No, we don't want to then go and figure out something else. If you don't want to gather and you don't think it's right for you and your situation, then don't, it's okay to say no, even though you may get the stress then of people complaining to you.

Amanda Norton:

Another tip is this is number three di wires, which are such a big hit and which is like literally all over my YouTube at this point. Getting your kids involved and being creative with people's gifts. A lot of us are struggling right now financially, and what a better way of using, the resources you have and the tools you may have, and just the technology that we have, and using the dollar trees that we have. But this is the best way to be creative. It's It's such a fun gift to receive when you know someone made it for you or that there was a lot of thought into it. So if you don't have a lot of money this year, which is understandable, and everybody should understand that. Get creative. Use the DIY little hints and stuff like that, and little hacks on Pinterest, and YouTube and Instagram, wherever you look the most. There's DIY opportunities everywhere. And it might be the first time you ever do a DIY and it might not be cool or it might not look great look like what you want. But it's fun to do. And I have to say it's very therapeutic when I'm doing a little project like that. It is so therapeutic and fun. And you can always YouTube anything at this point.

Daniel Norton:

Right? Well, you have to do the shutterfly's

Amanda Norton:

Oh yes.

Daniel Norton:

And you know, if you order anything on I don't know if it's Amazon or different other sites or whatever you get things in the mail right around this time of year, you get these like Shutterfly, or mixbook, or all these different ones where you could put together different stuff with photos, or whatever. And a lot of times, you'll get coupons for like, get this free thing, and you only pay shipping. So it's like free, not free. But it's cheaper. It's cheaper than what it would be if you paid for the full thing. plus shipping, right? Stuff like that is good. And I know Amanda does that all the time.

Amanda Norton:

Every year, everybody gets a calendar, each grandparent is

Daniel Norton:

easy. When you have a kid though, that people want, we sent it of just us it'd be weird, very,

Unknown:

very,

Daniel Norton:

but it is something you could do. Or maybe make your own thing with pictures and cards. And you know, having your kids put something together. I think that's that's a lot of fun, because they all love coloring and those kind of things. And hey, if you've got time, and you're home, and you don't have to worry about all the commuting, this is probably a good year to be able to do that. And you can mail a lot of that stuff, then you know, create something that they they've created for them or even videos, it might be a good year for creating your own videos on a phone or some kind of multimedia that you could send that then becomes something fun that you know a grandparent has or something if they know how to use a Yeah, a smartphone or anything like that.

Amanda Norton:

Right, or they have an iPad or something. And yeah, number four is get the any list app, any list app that is such a big blessing to us, we have our food shopping list, we have our Christmas list, we have everything we have every list possible on there. And it is such a great resource. And it's very accessible. So it was on your cell phone, it's everywhere, it's really been helpful. I have very bad short term memory these days. And that's part of it being a mom, you have 100 things in your brain, and that any list app just makes my life so much easier. And like I said before, if you hearing somebody say something like I need this, or I want this, and it's like maybe it's later in the year, early in the year before the holiday or their birthday, write it down in that any list app, and I save, it's already there, I saved last year's list. So I don't get the same thing. And then I just update it. It's really quick, really simple. We love it. You got me hooked on that?

Daniel Norton:

Yeah, well, you know, there's a lot of different list apps that are out there. So if you have an app that you like, that's a list app, you know, go with what's convenient for you. And there's a lot of free ones are like Google, and any list is free, we did get the premium, because you could have a family any list so we can update lists, on our separate phones. So it like I'm terrible at putting any lists any kind of like lists together. So if I go shopping, you know, to Walmart or to the supermarket or wherever, myself, Amanda updates the list. And then I can check off when I buy it right. And that's what's really convenient about an app like that. And although we could probably use like a listing that Google has, I think it's called tasks. Oh, this, I just like how it's very easy to use. Very and convenient. So yeah, we've put everything on there. So I think really think it through the stress free of this holiday season is the buying of things, whether it's you know, gifts or supplies, or food that you have to get for any kind of family gathering, even if it's small, it's still stuff you have to make and cook and prepare. So

Amanda Norton:

and you save paper by using that app. Well, you don't have to lose it

Daniel Norton:

right like I, I would take like a paper app paper app, a paper like sticky note or something put in my pocket. And then when I go take out my phone or something, go lose it out of my pocket. I'm like, What was it again? Or handwriting? Right, you know, my handwriting could be terrible. Or my spelling could be terrible, too. And it's like, what is this?

Amanda Norton:

Yeah, so it's so

Daniel Norton:

much easier to Yes, having a joint app with it with your family, something where you can have some kind of joint lists that you can mark off. Yep, is really helpful.

Amanda Norton:

Number five is purchase a little something every paycheck. So it could be something really small, or it can be something big. So that is something really helpful for us because I feel accomplished every paycheck. And maybe it means me not buying coffee that week for myself. And I can finally just like chip away at our Christmas list. That's just so much more rewarding than anything because I don't want to be stuck every year in December, like even the week before Christmas being like, I don't have any money left and I I have so many more gifts to buy. I just like being able to plan ahead and chip away at that list early and use every paycheck and just even a little extra that you have on the side. Save it for a Christmas gift and so you're not bombarded and overwhelmed at the end. Yeah, it's like setting it into your monthly budget. Yeah, each month instead of buying everything all at once. And even in these last six weeks, instead of like buying everything three days before Christmas or

Daniel Norton:

your notes, whatever your holiday and I enjoy doing that, because I enjoyed the the shopping part. But

Amanda Norton:

like the rush, I get stressed out with the rush.

Daniel Norton:

You know, what I really liked. And this is completely off topic is when I was working in New York City, and I worked a lot of late nights is the Macy's on 34th Street, which is where they have like the big Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade talking about Thanksgiving, right? It's like a five floor Macy's. And it's huge. And I don't really I don't really shop at Macy's any other time, but they've got like some cool stuff on different floors. And they've got these old escalators and all that. But I would work they would be open 24 seven, right through like the like, couple of weeks leading up in December, basically most of December. And if I got to work at like 12, or one and I missed my train, I would go and do my Christmas shopping. And the good part is I would come home and everyone's asleep, I'd get off the train with this big bag of stuff that I'd buy. And this was before I was a parent, I can't imagine now what I would come home with in there. But I enjoyed it because one it was empty. Yes, no one was around, and you're like, you just got all these floors to explore, and especially at that time the trains were really spread out. Yes. So if I didn't make my one train, I'd be waiting another hour or two for my next one. So I was like, Well, what am I gonna do, I'm just stand here in Penn Station, or go and get, you know, go and buy this. So I did enjoy that kind of stuff. But I did try to plan it at weird times. Of course, I wouldn't just go out of my way to go shopping at one in the morning. Over there. But since it was convenient, that's what I would do. But I definitely have found it's way less stressful by spreading it out even over the year of getting a few things in this you know summer for you know, spring or whatever that are saved now for Christmas so that we don't really have to, like this year, we're not really buying anything right now. Like I don't even think we really have anything left to buy and it's not even December,

Amanda Norton:

very small stuff. Very small stuff that we can just go get, you know, at the store like down the block.

Daniel Norton:

You just don't you don't feel it as much like that big hole in your wallet or in your budget. Yeah. Oh, buying gifts that you're kind of like I didn't think about having to buy for this person. And for some reason I didn't think about them every single year right. Now I gotta go and get that.

Amanda Norton:

Then next one is number six. It's okay to take off of work. Even though you're working from home. This has been a really interesting year working from home both of us together. And I find that it is so refreshing that even though I'm working from home, I can take days off and enjoy it just doing a staycation just doing anything with with our son and or going out. And this is the perfect time to do it. This is the perfect time to not feel guilty to do it. Yes, work is going to be there when you get back. And there's wonderful coworkers, I'm sure that can cover you. So take the time. don't overwhelm yourself, the week of Christmas or the holiday. And wrap paper to 1am spread it out during the day. Or if you have to go shopping you have a few things left on the list. Go on a really off day at the mall or whatever the store you have to go to. And enjoy that don't don't feel that you have to work all the way up until Christmas or all the way up until whatever holiday you celebrate. Go ahead and and take your time off of work that's you have paid time off for great reasons to get things done.

Daniel Norton:

Right Of course, that's if you have it and your scenario with what you're doing. But I think we focus so much on needing to take off those major days like the holiday days coming up. But taking off like a random Tuesday so that you could do shopping or go get something when they're not as packed as like a 5pm or weekend. Again, depending on where you are and if you're even comfortable going to a store but at least that gives you that time to spread some some things out that you would do and then maybe even be able to enjoy the night. Yeah, and not feeling like you have to kind of cram everything in you could actually enjoy like the whole season of it. Yeah,

Amanda Norton:

it's make it a fun time.

Daniel Norton:

And just as a reminder, make sure you actually take the days holidays off that you want and then you're not that one that forgot and now you're stuck doing everyone else's work. Most of course you run your own business and you're stuck doing it all anyway. Yeah, worried outsource what you can.

Amanda Norton:

Number seven is if you are down depressed, hopeless, or lonely. please reach out to your family and your friends. They want to hear from you. They want to know how you're doing. If anything, find a place where you can go get counseling, this might be tough time, because 2020 has been a really rough year. And it caused a lot of isolation and loneliness for people who are living on their own, or even people who are married, and maybe struggling in their marriage, please take the step to reach out to a family member, that you're close to a friend that you're close to someone who you're comfortable talking to, if anything, talk to a professional, the holidays can sometimes be very, very, very sad for people, especially if they lost somebody earlier this year. And the holidays are looking very different. Take care of yourself, if you're noticing a change in your behavior, if you're noticing that you're having thoughts that are very dark, or very depressing, and you don't feel safe with yourself, contact somebody, you're not alone. This is a very tough year. And there are so many people out there that love you and care about you. And being a parent in 2020 2020 has been so challenging. So it's understandable what we're all facing if you are struggling with that. So use the resources, use the people around you who love you and care about you. They want to hear what's really going on in your life.

Daniel Norton:

Yeah, and we just want to encourage you like, it's It is okay. You know, obviously, there's gonna be stress, and there's gonna be a lot of differences this year for us. You know, the thing that we would recommend is finding a local church to talk to you, even if you are in a Christian, you don't believe like, there are people often at at churches, and I can't speak for every single church. But there are places to to find encouragement, or to have people to talk to, and get to hear encouragement. Yeah, right. And hope and hope. Yeah. If churches aren't able to open, they're gonna have ways for you to connect with them. Yeah, that's something that I think for us just who we are, you know, we're not trying to, like, push you in any certain direction. But for us, that's where we are, we want to be real with you. You know, and, and it wouldn't be real, if that's not what I would have suggested for you to do, wherever you are in the world.

Amanda Norton:

And to make sure we leave off on a high note number eight is remember to have fun and enjoy the season. Yes, it can be stressful. We're almost at the end of 2020. We're almost there. But let's have fun. Let's make 20 the end of 2020 fabulous, let's make it fun and exciting and intimate with our families.

Daniel Norton:

Yeah, and you remember, like, our kids are always watching us. Whether we're working at our workstation, and they're at their virtual school station, or if they're younger, even even little infants and stuff. It's amazing the things that they absorb and see and, and they're gonna respond the way you respond. They're gonna absorb how you respond. And that's how they're going to respond to situations. And most of us want our kids to be able to enjoy this end of the year. Growing up, I loved the end of the year, like this is the time of year that I enjoyed the most I look forward to the most. And not even just the actual days because I loved our traditions like Christmas Eve was my time like when my family at my grandparents house with all of my mom's side of the family. And Christmas Day will be with my family and then my dad's side of the family at night. So it was there was a lot of fun there and all the other things but I also enjoyed like going out and doing the different Christmas things around there. Especially here in New York. There's a lot of different Christmas stuff whether you're in the city or you're in Brooklyn or over Long Island. There's a lot of things to be able to enjoy but I also enjoyed the shopping so I know that causes you a lot of stress in that you grew up with a lot of stress I did around shopping and having to get all that stuff done obviously you enjoyed the actual holidays

Amanda Norton:

Yeah, I we definitely enjoyed the holidays. But the in between was very stressful having to figure out what to get everybody and everything. And it was very difficult at some points for us. But we do make it through and my my birthday happens to fall the week before Christmas. So it was an exciting time because everything goes all at once. So my birthday and then literally a week later Christmas. So I saw a lot of family at the end of the year especially and my family we get together all the time, cousins and all and I just remember growing up just having the best times with them. Even though I saw them a lot for every birthday and holiday. I just remember the Christmas time was just the best. It was so fun and you know, being at my grandmother's house or wherever my aunt's house, it's just great. It's just great to be with everybody and

Daniel Norton:

traditions might be different this year. Yeah, things might be gatherings might be different. I mean, they're definitely going to be different. It just depends on how when, how big and where whatever, right things will just be different. But remembering to just enjoy that, even though work will be stressful and all the other things about life and having to buy that stuff. Remember, for the sense of our kids, we want to enjoy that. And we may need to force ourselves to do it sometimes. Yeah, as adults.

Amanda Norton:

Yeah, let's end the year with a bang. Let's make new traditions. This is a wonderful opportunity to do that. And like I keep saying, this is an awesome opportunity to be intimate, and fun with you, and have fun with your family.

Daniel Norton:

All right, so the goal to get through the end of 2020 is to just enjoy the time. Yeah. What do you plan for the rest of this year? What is your goal to end off 2020 as we lead towards a new year, a fresh start and whatever else comes comes our way we'd love to hear from you. If you leave a voice message on our website, working home parents calm or just reach out on Instagram at working home parents, we would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what you thought about this and how what other tips you would suggest. And if you haven't already, remember to hit subscribe in your favorite podcast app so that you will get every episode sent to you every single week.

Amanda Norton:

And we're so thankful for you. We thankful for the time you take to listen to us and we will love to hear from you. So like Dan said, definitely reach out to us on our website on Instagram wherever we are so excited to just finish off this year with you each week.

Daniel Norton:

Well if you enjoyed this episode, you could see shownotes transcriptions and more over at working home parents.com slash 12. That's working home parents.com slash 12. Thanks for listening and we look forward to talking with you in our next episode. Thank you

Bumper:

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